Man, I have so many hilarious stories it could go on forever! Like one time I actually sewed myself a pair of underwear! It was because I didnt have enough time to wash my clothes and I ran out of underwear! Lol! And afterwards I though if I had enough time to sew my own [...]
Man, I have so many hilarious stories it could go on forever!
Like one time I actually sewed myself a pair of underwear! It was because I didnt have enough time to wash my clothes and I ran out of underwear! Lol! And afterwards I though if I had enough time to sew my own underwear than I could have washed my clothes. I know, I am retarted acting, thats what my sister says.
What is your most funniest story you have to tell?
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not really smart
it is yahoo answers lol
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fibre net.
Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing…
They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
Not my story – but hes not here to give it!!!
A friend of a friend once was driving on a back road in the country. He had to pee so he pulled over…
Well long story short…he ended up peeing on an electric fence….and well I’m sure you can guess what happened…
yeah…sad…but SO funny.
well one time at the beach I had to go really bad and we were siiting in I was sitting with my friends in the sand and we were really far from the water so i just peed and like all the people on the boardwalk saw it even these really cute boys. It was really humiliating and being to idiot i am i said i was peeing a little too loud which only attracted more attention!:)hahahahaha
(your story was so funny)
this new year me and two friends prankcalled 5 good friends
we said to them ” Hey Debbie baby, It’s your fiancey, Don wanna come to my house?” in hunks voice
Later i did the impossible sit up prank on one of them.
lol rofl
My mum once told me about a friend of hers who went to the zoo with her young son (around 6/7 years). Anyway, after a good day at the zoo they went to see the penguins before heading home.
On the way home the boy was really quite and held onto his rucksack as if his life depended on it. when they arrived home he went straight to his bedroom.
After half hour or so his mum, getting a little worried as to why her son was so quite went upstairs to find her son in his room playing happily with a small fluffy baby penguin he had taken from the zoo!
Needless to say they had to travel back to the zoo to take back the penguin..
This isnt the funniest story i have , its the only one i can think of at the moment.
my stepdad told me this:
There was a woman who had a baby and named her female pronounced (phe-mall-eh) and when the doctor asked where she got the name from she told him that it was on the front of the bassinet that the baby was on..
It said female(phe-mall-eh)
so do I! But here’s one… me and my friends were at subway for lunch and my went to put ice in her pop and she kept put too much or too little and she ended up breaking the ice machine! then she yelled to the guy working there “ummm…..hello… somebody…i broke the ice machine.. its broken and i need some ice for my pop” lmfao!
that’s not really funny….just dumb and I don’t believe it because I don’t think anyone is that dumb.
this isn’t the funniest but its a good one
when i was in second grade i was a lil chubby so when iwas crawling on the floor near a bed and another piece of furniture i got stuck. My sister was on the bed so i said help !! and she said nah just lay there and relax fat*** and then i tried crawling but i cut my stomach by accident and she said don’t try fatboy and also said what is your stomach emo now too then i cried so she’s like shut up fatboy and just kick my butt and she said get out before i lock you in here !! and it worked i jumped out after that me and my emo tummy said thanks
Dear Dad letter….
A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’ With the
worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with
trembling hands.
‘Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mum and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing’s,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we
will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really hurt
anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other
people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday,
I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many
grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that’s on the kitchen table.
Call when it is safe for me to come home!
This isn’t a story but its funny
15 ways to annoy your parents
1. Moo whenever they say your name
2. Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house
3. Try to dive into the floor
4. At everything they say, yell dramatically IT’S A LIE I TELL YOU IT’S A LIE
5. Have 20 imaginary friends and talk to them constantly
6. Try to snorkel in the fish tank
7. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion
8. Demand your own area code
9. Every time you go to the toilet, shout “I’ve finishheeeeeeeddddd!”
10. Run into their bedroom at 4am every morning, squealing like a pig
11. Answer anything they say they have done with “I bet you did”
12. When there is a power cut, ask “what the hell have you done this time?”
13. Hide a raw chicken leg in their bed and say you were playing dogs
14. When you go to the supermarket, roll around on the floor laughing hysterically
15. Follow them around all day and sleep on top of them at night
Some funny [true life] stories..
My nan used to be a home help, where she would take care of the elderly in their homes. She once went to the house of an old lady, who greeted her by screaming “FEEL MY BONES!! I HAVE TOO MANY!”
Me and my friends were playing pictionary, and I drew a stick man running away from a huge bear, someone guessed “Shallow Hall” [you will only get that if you’ve seen the film.]
We were once playing charades, and my granddad was trying to act out to us the name of a film. After one of his actions, my Nan guessed “Monster” my granddad did the “smaller” signal, so my nan shortened the word to “monst” hahahah
My Nan told my granddad that she was thinking of buying some blow up beds for when guests come round to stay. My granddad answered with “Blow up beds? Will dynamite do it?”
My nan spent ages looking for her serving spoon, which apparently is noticeably larger than normal spoons. She searched everywhere and was really confused about how it could of just disapeared. She kept asking me if I’d seen it and I just laughed and said no why would I want to steal a spoon. A few days later, I was cleaning my bedroom and had to take a few snack wrappers and tubes that I’d forgotten about and left sitting on my window seal. It turned out I had been using the spoon to eat ice cream the whole time HAHAH
And a funny joke..
A northern man was walking naked down the street, and on his back he was carrying a woman.
A boy asked him “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
He replied “I’m going to a fancy dress party. I’m a tortoise.”
The boy said “Whose that woman on your back?”
The man replied “That’s Michelle!” [Me shell] hahahah
I hope you liked hehe
<3